Have you been swept up by the magic cleaning and tiding craze lately?
My sister inspired me and I started with my clothes. Now I am in the process of finding homes for some books (let me know if you want some German books)
I think the reason we started examining our belongings and see what still has relevance in our present life is that our mother passed away recently. Having first moved her to a small apartment and then dissolving the household after her death gave us practice in sorting out.
For me, it was a process of realizing that even the most prized and cherished possessions, containing fond memories, boils down to being “Stuff”. It doesn’t matter if it has external value or not. I felt suffocated by the sheer amount of belongings that are left behind when a person crosses the threshold to another reality. If I were living in Germany in a large house, I would have been tempted to keep a lot of artwork and books. Luckily I had to be very selective in what to take or mail. This process set in motion continues with examining my own “Stuff”. What is truly important to me? What served me in the past, but is now outgrown? What do I drag around as a burden? It is not just my material possessions that undergo scrutiny. It is deeper questions- who am I without my mother? The main anchor emotionally rooting me in Germany is cut loose. I am drifting and having to find my own new identity and roots. What do I want to invite in, what do I want to create space for? It seems to me that my external surroundings are a mirror of my internal cluttered state of mind, emotions and also a relationship to my own body. I am longing for a clean slate, a new start, a lighter unburdened existence. Below the dread and fear of change, there is a kernel of joy for the new that I can glimpse. My heart is already joyfully jumping, being surrounded only with relevant possessions. I am looking forward to shedding habits and behaviors that I developed as coping mechanisms to past events. What else is holding me back? What about the armor I build up around myself for protection? How much of it do I still need? How much of this is also reflected in my posture? Can I retrain my muscles? And how much more self-esteem do I need to develop to truly embody a new posture? What does my soul need to be nurtured and my body to be nourished? What can I tackle by myself and what do I need help with? Luckily there are quite a number of practitioners in this area here that can support this transformation.
It is a blessing and a gift to be willing to tackle all these questions. I have a sense that after this process my life will be much more clear and have more purpose. I will feel freer and my body will move and function with more ease.